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Making New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep
It’s a
new year once again, and a time for us to make
resolutions to improve our lives. How many of
you want to quit smoking? How many want to lose
weight? How many want to better your
education? More important, how many of you will
still be on track toward this resolution come
February? And how many of you will achieve this
goal by the end of the year?
Sadly,
not many. And the reasons for not achieving
these goals range from procrastination to life
intrusions to loss of motivation. The
unfortunate side of this is that most of us
would be better people for meeting our goals.
However, the good news is, we can all set
reachable goals AND attain them by the end of
the new year. Here are a few tips on how you
can make resolutions that you can actually keep.
KEEP THE GOALS ATTAINABLE
·
Set realistic goals--One of the main reasons people fail to meet their
goals is they set unrealistic goals for
themselves. Too often, we get caught up in the
end result, rather than the road to get there.
If you keep in mind the efforts that will be
necessary to achieve the goal, you will be more
apt to reach it.
·
What external forces are in play?--For example, consider Jane. She
wants to complete the classes necessary to
obtain the Bachelor’s Degree she began right out
of high school. She only needs 30 credit hours
and she’s done. So she makes that her
goal—attain her B.A. by December. What Jane
doesn’t consider is that she works full time, is
a single mother of pre-teen actively involved in
sports, and volunteered to run the fashion show
for her women’s guild this year. Will she
achieve her goal? Possibly. But more than
likely, no. She will begin with enthusiasm, but
as the months go on, she’ll discover the strain
on her family life, work life, social life and
health. She will realize something has to
give. So she takes less and less classes,
eventually quitting altogether because the
holidays are just around the corner and she just
started a new relationship.
·
The measure of success--Did Jane fail? Yes and no. Her intentions
were good. She just didn’t give thought to the
consequences of keeping her resolution. She
didn’t consider the steps necessary for reaching
her goal—she only looked at the end result. She
expected too much of herself, and in the end,
gave up.
PLAN IN PHASES RATHER THAN END RESULT
·
As we saw in the above example, poor planning led to poor results. If
Jane had actually considered everything involved
in achieving her degree, she would have seen the
impossibility of the task and altered her goal.
Rather than setting out to achieve her degree,
she could have made a resolution to start on
track toward attaining her degree. She would
have realized that she didn’t have time for 30
hours worth of classes, and could have set her
goals at ‘registering at a local college’ and
‘take one or two three-hour classes every
grading period.’ She would have had only a
maximum of 18 hours completed by the end of the
year, but that would have been 18 more hours
than last year. And 18 hours closer toward a
degree, something she never came close to in the
first example because she gave up early on due
to life intrusions.
·
Study you goal—Look at what you want to achieve, be it weight loss or a
career change. Make a list of everything you
need to do in order to achieve the goal.
Consider how much time and effort you will need
for each step, then plan accordingly. For
instance, if you want to lose 30 pounds, you
can’t do it in 30 days. Take the first step
toward achieving that goal by buying healthier
foods. Then either sign up at a health club, or
create your own exercise regimen. Start
slowly. If you are 30 pounds overweight, you
won’t be able to run five miles the first day.
Try walking one mile, increase it by a mile
every week or so as your energy level permits,
then try running one mile and walking four,
etc., until you are able to run the five miles.
·
Measure your success--Within a few months, you will be able to run the
five miles you couldn’t have run in January.
That doesn’t make you a failure for the first
few months of the year while you were running
less than five miles. Instead, you were slowly
working toward your goal, eventually achieving
it.
PUT YOUR GOALS IN WRITING
·
Too often, we lost sight of our goals because we literally ‘lose sight’
of our goals. If our goal doesn’t involve
something physical, such as weight loss that can
be measured on a weekly basis with a scale, it
is often difficult to keep track of one’s
progress. For instance, how do you measure a
goal of ‘I am going to do one random act of
kindness every day.’ You won’t change
physically. And more likely than not, nothing
in your home will change.
·
Stay motivated--So how do you stay motivated when there are no physical
results? How do you keep up with your
resolution if nothing changes around you? The
largest measure of success will of course be how
you feel about yourself. But to have something
more concrete, write your goal on a piece of
paper and tape it to your computer screen or
mirror—a place you look every day. Not only
will it be a reminder to keep the resolution, it
will be a reminder of what you have achieved up
to this point and make you feel a better person
for doing it.
STAY MOTIVATED
·
Support system—Another reason we often stray from our resolutions is a
lack of support system. Sometimes there is a
friend or family member who is sabotaging your
goal, be it a conscience act or not. Criticism,
sarcasm, and demands on time can all lead to
failure of a goal. For instance, does your
husband stock the pantry with high fat snacks
when you are trying to diet? Does your friend
suggest an activity for your children, then
renege on the carpooling duties? Does your
mother criticize your time away from the family
because you are attending night classes? Any of
these can cause guilt to creep in, and
ultimately cause you to stray on your path to
success. To stay motivated, you must have a
good support system. Surround yourself with
people who want to see you reach your goal.
·
Create a buddy system—One of the best ways to stay motivated and
achieve your goal is to make the same goal as a
friend or family member, then work toward that
goal together. You will not only have someone
to support you, you will feel better about
yourself by being able to support someone else
in their achievements.
CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS
·
Reward yourself—It sounds self-assuming, but one of the best ways to
stay motivated is to celebrate your success.
And I don’t mean you should wait until the very
end to do so. Every little step, be it a “B” in
Economics class, or two more pounds gone at the
end of the week, reward yourself with some
enjoyable activity. Make it something for you
alone, be it an hour alone to read that new
book, a trip to the mall for a new pair of
running shoes, or an appointment for a
manicure. Encouragement, be it from others or
yourself, will bring you closer to your goal.
So when
you sit down to make your resolutions this year,
remember to make them attainable, create a plan
to get you there, find a support system, and
reward yourself. You will be a better person in
the end because of it.
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